You gotta check this out!

This is actually a link to my friend Jason's blog, who links to a great blog I think musicians out there should read.  It is not often that you get honest advice from someone in the music biz, so check it!

http://oneworkingmusician.com/the-best-advice-for-musicians-that-ive-heard-in-a-long-time

Happy New Year,

playing the crap out of the Sunset Tavern tonight, only a few tickets available at the door so get there super early!

Cheers,

Mack

Going to the studio tonight!

Alright, I finally did it.  I plotted out some recording time so I can finally lay down some solo piano christmas music.  It is too late to really sell or get to people now, but I figure the next couple of years I will have a christmas cd to get out there!  I played for several thousand people the last few weeks, and it would have been great if I had a x-mas cd to sell them!

Let me know if you would like a track or two e-mailed out to ya!

Mack

Ray's Boathouse - Dick's Drive In!

Had an excellent private gig tonight.  It was me, playing solo - Jazz/Blues/X-mas songs.

Thought that it was going to be kind of strange, but it turns out it was awesome.  Thirty people about, all managers and owners of Dick's Drive In's.  I decided that I have not been getting enough 'practice' at these solo gigs that I do, so I decided I was going to sing a bunch tonight!  Sang tons of Christmas songs and Blues and Jazz, and man...!  I thought it was pretty good actually.  I brought my PA instead of my amp, and my keyboard sounds way better through it, not to mention the vocals.  I feel like after a song or two I got used to singing through the PA system, and had some control over it and could just relax and sing along.

People really had a great response to it, and it was the best practice I have had at a solo gig in a very long time, especially for being a casual.  I am going to sing a lot at all these upcoming gigs!

Sincerely,

Mack

Happy Birthday to Me!!!

 It is sad, I always have to play happy birthday to myself!!  At least people sing along though.

Been pretty busy with a bunch of corporate gigs.  Did a short little trio thing with Leah Stilwell and Jon Hamar the other night at Hotel 1000 - it was okay.  Strange gig!  Those two are great musicians, and I was having a hard time playing... feeling really mad about playing a keyboard also.  Anyways, it was okay, then when I got to the gig I also realized I had forgotten the keyboard stand so I had to run home and grab it - I was ten minutes late.

Then the following night we played the Triple Door with Dudley Manlove.  Man, I love the sound there.  They can set it up so perfect you can hear yourself just awesome.  It made me feel like I sang good!

Teaching one last student, turned 24 today, remember Pearl Harbor.

Mack

Happy Thanksgiving!

Wow, I have a break until dec 4th on gigs, what in the world am I gonna do until then!

Happy Thanksgiving and  Black Friday!

Mack

Dave Peck at Tula's

Dave played at Tula's this weekend.  It was an excellent show the night I was there (Saturday).  Eric Eagle was playing drums, and Dean Johnson was on upright bass.

It was an evening of playing standards and a few originals.  My favorite was Blue Bird, which as far as I know is an original waltz, it was great.

What I really enjoyed about the music was the freedom of it.  Harmonically, Dave is the master at voice leading and reharm'ing tunes, not to mention playing with a great balance amongst his fingers.  The second set I thought the music really started to open up -- they played two ninety minute sets.

I study with Dave Peck because I think he is the shit in Seattle as far as pianists go!  There are other great players, but I idolize the way he can play and make everything sound so great.  I like that he plays lots of medium tempo tunes, and ballads ... it has always been more important to me to play beautifully than to 'burn'.   ALTHOUGH, I have been working on burning tempo's lately.  One thing I have been doing is using the cd metronome by Paul Carmen (google).  It is just a mp3 track of him playing time, 32 bar forms, but it is excellent to practice to.  Tempos range from 40-400 bpm!    Dave turned me on to it, and I know that Dave practices with it a lot as well, and I could really tell at this last gig.  His chops were turned on more than usual!

Anyways, it is turkey day, so I might as well say what I am thankful for.

I am thankful that I get to play (and teach) music as a job.  Although it is stressful sometimes, and sometimes I feel like it takes the magic out of music for me, it is totally worth it in the end.  The majority of the stuff that I dislike is all of the office work that I have to do.  I want to start working enough so that I can just hire a secretary or assistant!

I am also thankful for my friends and family, Chelsea, Moh, Mom, Jade, Jana, Dad!  Love you guys!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Ballard Jazz Walk

Playing the Ballard Jazz Walk the other night was an absolute blast.  I was playing with the Jacob Stickney quartet, we have been playing gigs together for about a  year now, and the band includes Devin Lowe, Adam Kessler, Jacob Stickney and myself.   The music is mostly Jacob's original material, which is fun to play.  You get really weird, strange chords for a couple bars, then other really strange chords for a couple bars, and in the end I am always amazed that it sounds so good!  It is teaching me a lot about harmony...

Other bands I saw at the Jazz Walk :

Pete Christlieb and Hadley Caliman - Awesome.  The New York fashion school is not a music venue however... how come the Tractor Tavern, or the Sunset was not on board with this..?!  I could not believe it.  Bill Anschell was on keys, and Chuck Deardorf on bass, Jon Bishop on drums.

Jason Parker Quartet - Super fun, most entertaining group of the evening.  Jason is sounding really great, and he was playing with Cynthia Mullis, who played on his cd.  The Teaching was backing him up (Evan Flory-Barnes, Jeremy Jones, Josh Rawlings) and they sounded good.  Those guys have gotten super tight together over the years.
Jason was playing tracks off of his new cd, my favorite being "Mance's Dance" a Tatum Greenblat tune, and then "Love for Sale" a Jason Parker original arrangement that totally kicked ass.  It was nice to see these guys because they had some stuff worked out, a lot of the groups were just calling tunes... which is a jazz tradition, but it tends to bore me sometimes now.

McTuff - Energy seemed great, but the balance was horrible.  Joe Doria was playing organ, and I could not hear it.  REPEAT, I COUULD NOT HEAR THE ORGAN.... wow, that never happens!

Anyways, there were tons of other bands also and it really was fun walking around checking out all the bands.  It reminded me of what it must have been like being on Jackson street in the mid 1900's with all the jazz clubs.

I met the President.... of Steinway!

He seemed really nice, of course he was trying to sell a bunch of pianos as well. Haha, you can never trust em, nope!  I met him at the Sherman and Clay customer appreciation party.  Pretty fun, a bunch of pianists getting together with a huge tray of all sorts of cheese, wine, and then Mark Salman, a local classical pianist played an excellent set.  Short and sweet.

Beethoven Sonata in F major - the one with only two movements.

Lizt - Short, supposedly lost piece in Ab major

Chopin - Polonaise in F#-

Encore - Chopin Mazurka

Mark is a great pianist, huge dynamic range and he can really get a big sound out of the piano.  I recommend people in town to check him out for sure.

Cheers

Owl n' Thistle, wet your whistle!

Went out to the owl last night, was a pretty good crowd.

Lets see, who was there... Michael Barnett, Chris Symer, Steve Tressler, Stewart McDonald, Eric Verlinde, Brad Gibson, Ray Price, Clark Gibson and Jose Martinez to name a few.

The Owl hang on Tuesday nights never stops impressing me, I cannot believe it has stayed so strong for so long now! Sometimes it is a dead week, sometimes it is hoppin!

Eric Verlinde is a total bad ass, I love that guy and his playing. Funny thing, I actually met Eric when I was in high school and he was playing piano for Dave Barduhn. They were on the road for a weekend and they came up and stayed the night at my parents karate school. Totally random, then several years later I met him at the whiskey bar (old wednesday night jam) and we were like 'woah!'

I sat in and played one crazy blues in G, and I Love You, the Cole Porter tune -- went okay, made me want to practice!

I want to start a Sunday afternoon jam session at my house -- let me know if you are interested!

Teaching

Long day of teaching today. I teach about fifteen hours of students a week in two days, so it gives me some long stretches of students.

Although it rocks, and I love teaching people about and how to play music, I have to admit that sometimes it gets very frustrating. A week or two with out much progress, that is okay and understandable... but once I see that you are not really trying or are not that interested in playing the piano? Get out of here, do not waste my time!

Hah... I sound so mean and hardcore here, I am really a super nice teacher... I am just at a loss with what to do with some of my students who seem stuck in a bad practicing rut. I am booking a recital for them to practice for, we will see if that helps. On the opposite side of things, I love it when my students (Kids AND Adults!) get some work done, and show pride in what they have done and are making great progress. They love it, I love it, everybody wins.

Lynnwood Food Bank Benefit!

A week ago, my quartet played a gig at the Lynnwood Free Methodist Church to benefit the Lynnwood food-bank. It was exciting to have a showcase gig for a good cause, and we earned over $1,600.00 for the food bank!

Clark Gibson was playing sax, Adam Kessler was playing drums and Devin Lowe was playing a lil' bass in your face.

Getting ready for the concert, I had a whole bunch of music picked out for us to perform, but it turned out that two forty-five minute sets was only a third of the material I picked out. Although we did not get a true rehearsal in (hard with everyones schedules) we played charts that were easy enough to get through as a band with very little rehearsal time. Some of those included Get Happy, Pure Imagination, I'm Walkin and a Charlie Parker transcription of Dewey Square. It was a fun gig, the music was all around exciting, however as a musician I cannot be satisfied! LoL! Next time we will be tighter, play better and have even MORE fun!!!

You can check out a clip from the gig on my website, www.mackgrout.com

Mack

Zubatto Syndicate and More!

The Zubatto Syndicate gig on November 5th was a success!

As a musician playing Andrew Boscardin's music (the composer, and leader of the Zubatto Syndicate) I wanted to write a little something from an insider perspective for all you bloggers and musicians out there.

We have all played gigs before where musicians and composers are trying to bring many different types of music together, and in my experience many of these instances are exaggerated incredibly. Normally when you get a classical group that says they are combining the two(jazz and classical), you have a chamber ensemble of some sort playing some major nine chords, or playing some modal sounding piece. When you get the jazz guys mixing classical into their playing, they are not really mixing in solid classical influences, but are improvising in a way that resembles how they interpret classical music. The music that Andrew wrote for the Zubatto Syndicate is definitely from more of a jazz background, but I felt that it had an honest mixing of classical influences.

Part of this could be attributed to a third of the band being typical 'classical' instruments. This made for some very unique arrangements, with oboe, bassoon and clarinets often playing the top of the voicings, and trumpet, alto and some of the jazz side of the band that normally play the top of the "balance pyramid" playing some inner voicings. I have not heard the recordings yet, but it sounded good from the band stand. My only concern is that the woodwind instruments can not be as loud as the brass, so I hope the balance was good the night of the performance and the melodies when they were in the oboe and clarinet were not over powered by the brass section.

One of the goal's of the Zubatto Syndicate, was to mix this quasi big-band style with contemporary styles. A lot of Andrew's songs (All entitled as Z, followed by a number. He said this was because when he was brainstorming musical ideas and motif's he just numbered them and instead of creating a name for the tunes, he just kept them as Z7, Z2, Z35 and etc.) were built around grooves. Rock grooves, hip-hop grooves, bluesy grooves and all sorts of interesting rhythms (One of Andrew's pieces was built around a 7/8 drum groove, really cool!). Byron Vannoy was playing drums, and John Hammer was playing bass, and together they really held down a good foundation for the band.

Once the band had rehearsed a few times, it was time to get down to Town Hall and perform the show. Even after rehearsing and practicing the music, I know that I was still on the uncomfortable edge when it was performance time... and I do not think I was alone! Part of it was because of the difficult passages, and rhythms that the music contained. Another part of it was that since Town Hall is such a huge room, with thirty foot ceilings, the sound of the bass on stage was basically disappearing. Because of this, throughout the show I was trying hard just to lay down the basic harmony of the pieces so that soloists could tell where we were in the forms (It sure was pretty tricky in spots!!!). I do not know how well I did, we can all see when the concert is broadcast on the Seattle Channel in January!

Overall, I think the nervousness of the band helped the performance. We were all super attentive as a unit, and there were several times where people stepped up and helped to lead everyone else. If everyone was super clean on all of the material and at ease, I do not think it would have had the same energy that it did.

I love working with Andrew, because all of his music has such interesting melodies, and he writes truly original music. Not to mention he is a good friend of mine, and we always have fun playing together! I would recommend not just jazz lovers, but any music lover to at least give the Zubatto Syndicate a listen to see what they think, it is an ambitious music, experimental, energetic, and then it is rounded out by some great soloists! Clark Gibson, Chad McCullough, Chris Stover and Jim DeJoie were all killing it.

Zubatto Syndicate is:

Zubatto Syndicate is:
Byron Vannoy - drums
Chris Stover - trombone
Greg Sinibaldi - bass clarinet and tenor saxophone
Francine Peterson - bassoon
Chad McCullough - trumpet
Taina Karr - oboe and English horn
Jon Hamar - bass
Mack Grout - keys
Clark Gibson - alto saxophone
Jim DeJoie - baritone saxophone
Jesse Canterbury - clarinet

Andrew Boscardin - guitar

Check out Andrew Boscardin's blog on the band here.

Excited about an upcoming gig this weekend!

I am super excited to be playing a gig this Saturday at the Lynnwood Free Methodist Church.

My band is playing a jazz concert to raise money for the Lynnwood Food Bank. It should be really fun, everyone in the band is a great musician. I am super stoked, although I play gigs and work all the time, I am trying to push more of 'my' thing lately. This concert is a good representation of who I am as a musician, and what I do, and what I want to do all the time. Obviously, I love all the bands that I play with, but it feels sometimes that I am so busy working all the time that I am not focusing on doing what I want to do, and pushing my career as a musician (sideman aside).

Anyways, get more information at the official website (Google Lynnwood Food Bank) or at the Facebook event page here.

Also, on Facebook you can see a lot of the pictures from the Dudley Manlove Spooktacular, 2009, which kicked @$$!

Other notable gigs:

Zubbatto Syndicate : Adventurous Rock Jazz Hop written by Andrew Bosardin. I love playing in Andrews bands, it is an adventure, and he is a good friend of mine! Come out, were at Town Hall this Thursday! Brought to you by the Seattle City of the Music fund... or something like that!

Water Babies : Love it, rocked the Waterstreet in Port Townsend

Spirit of Peace Church : Gettin the hang of being a music minister

Crystal Ballroom : Felt like a rockstar! Wait a minute, I was a rockstar! It was interesting to play it for tons of peeps at a public show, and then the next night to have to play it for a lot of people at a gigantic private wedding!

Nordstrom : ..... What is this? I feel that all pianists probably try this gig out at least once --- you can look for me soon at the Bellevue Nordstroms, weekends during the day!

PDX is 70 degrees!

Good afternoon!

Just checked into the Mark Spencer hotel for the next two nights in Portland. Soundcheck is in a few, and I feel beached! That is what my buddy Max always says, like in the sense of "I am a beached whale!". I ate a giant pastrami sandwich on rye... mmm, soo good! Not to mention it was so rainy and crummy in Seattle and it is 70 degrees F down here in Portland!

We are playing two nights at the Crystal Ballroom, this is Portlands premier club and music venue. I love the place, it is awesome. The floor does this really weird thing where it wobbles and shifts, and it makes you really uncomfortable that the whole building is going to collapse, especially when a whole room of crazy party go-ers is jumping up and down dancing. They say it is constructed to be like that, but I do not know if I believe them or not!

Our load in is in fifteen minutes, then our sound check is at 8:00. We are playing with good friends of the Dudley Manlove Quartet, "Super Diamond" -- the worlds premier Neil Diamond tribute band. They are legit, sound exactly like the real deal (if not better!) and when we team up together, our two bands can sell out some huge venues! It is a blast! Who knew you could be such a rock star playing all these old number one hits!

Anyways gotta jet. Definitely need to hit up voodoo donuts in the morning! Mmmm, Bacon Maple Bars!

Cheers,

Mack

JSQ @ Lucid

Played with Jacob Stickney last night at Lucid, pretty fun gig. Jacob's music is all original, and has a lot of really interesting harmonic movements, which makes it really fun to play for me.

Jeremy Jones was playing drums last night, I have not heard him play outside of "The Hang" so I was really blown away by his playing. What a killin drummer!

Checked out the Greek festival today, traditional greek bands were playing. Super interesting, beautiful music. A majority of the stuff we heard was fairly slow though, I was waiting for them to bust into some sort of up-tempo, happier sounding songs, but it did not happen... something I think would be worth exploring though, listening to Greek folk music.

Cheers,

Mack

"R"Oktoberfest!

Played Oktoberfest this weekend, had a blast! Really fun, people were really drunk and there were a few girls that were so wasted and out of hand we had security come over and tell them to shut their traps or leave! Hahaha, being harrased by a bunch of super drunk 26yr olds. (Play something good! Play something we can dance too!) What, Rod Stewart DO YOU THINK IM SEXY did not cover those two requirements? Hah! I just regret that with 70 breweries having attended, when we got done playing they started shutting everything down.

I have been feeling really great about my playing lately, I have been able to practice and play a bunch of gigs so I feel that I am getting back into a good groove. Also, checked out some tracks me, Brad Gibson and Devin Lowe did in the studio and they sound great.

I have been working out of and really studying the Charlie Parker Omnibook (book full of Charlie Parker tunes and solo's) I have made it through the first few songs in the book, really learning them. They were mostly tunes that I already knew, so I was mostly spending time ripping licks and learning the solo's. Now I am on to Dewey Square - I love this tune, I am working on figuring out the whole tune in drop 2 voicings [for the piano nerds out there!]


Now, to continue down the ever long list of things that need to get done!

I am listening to some tracks of the secret DMQ band for Halloween --- this is gonna be great, really really epic.

Cheers,

Mack

a typical week of gigs - busy lately.

Last weeks gigs - yes I make a living playing music, but it is a lot of hard work.

Sunday/Monday - Orcas Island, Private party, over night.

Tuesday - Teach in Port Orchard

Wednesday - Tulalip Casino with DMQ

Thursday - Nothing! Went to my best friend Derek's police academy graduation. I can not believe he is a real cop now. Since we were little kids I knew along with everyone else he was gonna be a cop so it was like a important life moment to watch him graduate from the police academy.

Friday - Mukilteo Lighthouse Festival w/ May Palmer, Queen of Ivory Soul! Awesome gig, fun band, nasty RnB!

Saturday - DMQ played a private gig in Winthrop Washington. Woke up to hot air balloons, wanted to go on one sooo bad!

Sunday - Had to get up early to get back to the west side of the state to play a solo piano private party.

Monday - Teach at FMS.

Each gig averages four hours long, with another two to eight hours in prep/travel time! I am tired, and super excited to go to Hawaii in a little over a month!

Cheers,

Mack

Tonight at the Tractor Tavern

Just wanted to make a special note that tonight at the Tractor Tavern, my cover band I play in, "The Dudley Manlove Quartet" is going to be rockin the house with all sorts of 60's, 70's and 80's covers!

We really want to have a great show, and a great crowd, so come out and party and dance with us! Buy your tickets ahead of time and they are only $8.00, or $10.00 at the door! Show starts at 9:30

Hopefully we will see you there, here is a fan video from one of our shows last year - look how much fun they are having! That can be you!

Here is the Tractor's website

Keepin busy in August! Summer is almost over..!

I cannot believe that summer has come and is nearing an end so quickly! Sometimes I feel like I get so depressed in the winter, hah, maybe that is a Washington thing.

One good thing about winter though is that I get a much better practice routine going! During the summer so many gigs, nice days, and other random things distract me from getting any real work done. (The most recent has been surfing... gnarley duuude!)

I have been working on a couple corporate bands to get started, and now I finally have all the charts together. I am going to start having a weekly jam session over at my place on Sundays, and out of this hopefully will come charging the big band! Do not know what we will call it yet, but it is all set and ready to go. All we need is horn players that can read and play their shit to come over and play through some of these arrangements. If you are interested, contact me and I will get you more details.

Anyways, the Sunday jam this week is going to be in Port Orchard at my parents house - if you happen to be in P.O. come stop by the Dojo and check it out! It will be picnic style, so bring some food and a blanket/chairs.

Until then I have two gigs at the Faire Gallery and Cafe, Tonight and Thursday night for their happy hour events, a solo piano performance at St. Michelle winery on Wednesday (Diana Krall is playing there this weekend, should be great!) and a private event with the WaterBabies (Jason Parker) on Friday, and DMQ on Saturday on Bainbridge Island.

Hope everything is good for everyone! Right now I am listening to Enrico Pierenunzi's album Night Gone By. Check it out.

Mack

Summer is busy time for us "Catz"

Have been playing a lot of gigs lately, corporate events, private gigs, and a few awesome club dates and stuff too.

Notable gigs :

Oysterville Jazz and Oysters festival - Rocked the house with May Palmer (R&B singer)  Totally fun, never ate so many oysters in my life!  Oysterville is a mysterious place, it is about 35 min. north of Long Beach Washington!  It was a great time, beautiful place!

Orange - Played Brewfest in Portland with the band Orange, lead by Ted Wallis.  Fun gig, crazy time.  Lots of bro's at this gig, we played at the Rockbottom in downtown Portland!

DMQ @ Highdive - Pretty good, unfortunately our draw was not what we were hoping for, but for the people that were there it was a good time!  Our next show is at the Tractor Tavern (Dudley Manlove Quartet's After School Special)  Come party and bring supplies to donate to local elementary schools!

Played a bunch more but those are the ones that I thought were really worth mentioning right now!  

Went and saw Ahmad Jhamal also at Jazz Alley!  Good show all around, however Ahmad's playing is somewhat of a mystery to me.  I have not spent much time listening to him, but I think I need to now!  I want to see if the way he was playing when I saw him is how he always plays!

Upcoming awesome things :

Dave Peck Trio @ Tulas August 28th and 29th - My mentor is returning to Tula's after a break from playing live!  This is going to kick ass.

Trio CD - A trio cd is in the works with fellow musicians Brad Gibson and Devin Lowe on Drums and Bass respectively!  Should be a fun time, we have  a very unique way of playing together!

Mack Grout Band - Quartet show in Lynnwood, Nov. 7th!  Benefit for the Lynnwood food bank.  This is a full on concert, be there or be square!  Trio featuring Clark Gibson on Saxophones.

This post might not be that interesting sorry!  Will update more from now on!  

Me and Ian Borak (Drums) have been working on a soundtrack for a commercial, should be on television in the next couple of months!  Will have to let you guys know!

Cheers,

Mack

P.S.  Also keep your ears out - yours truly has an interview/lesson excerpt on NPR!  I will keep you all updated.  

Metronome?

How to practice video's? Oh great!

I made a short youtube video about how I want my students to practice effectively, in order to see the best results in the shortest amount of time.  



Fortunately for me, Youtube loves to thumbnail all of my videos when I look the most ridiculous!  It looks like I am singing "oooo"!  This is not a voice lesson!  Anyways, to all my students, there is no new information inside this video... but if you watch it let it remind you what it takes to really learn something.  Don't forget the "Mess around time" though!  

As for everything else, I had a rehearsal for a gig this coming Wednesday with Jacob Stickney at Lucid.  It is going to be cool, it is always fun to play in Jacob's band.  His originals are fun and I love everyone in that group.  Hmm, any other gigs of note..?  Playing the finish line of a race at 8:00 am Sunday with the Little Big Band (sub-group of the Emerald City Jazz Orchestra), played three private events last week, and am taking the trio down to Astoria tomorrow to play a gig.  Rocked the house at Lucid (awesome new local jazz club) with Bridgid Roney and Richelle Gay and Kiranda.  For Kiranda's gig there were not many people there, so we got to mess around and all practice our free-styling and what-not.  I have also met and performed with May Palmer, Queen of Ivory Soul.  What a great front woman she is!  

Dudley is playing the Triple Door on July 3rd!  Be there or be square.  We are also holding auditions for a new guitarist.  If you are interested, contact me through my website.

Cheers,

Mack 

Proud of Seattle today! Seattle students drown out anti-gay demonstration | Top Stories |

This is so awesome, I am so excited that the counter-protest was such a success.  If I was at the protest I feel like I would have wanted to punch em out!  I guess thats why the police are there, but man, people do not get beat up for being dumb asses anymore!  I am glad the message could get across peacefully, so funny that there are christians out there that preach hate.  Those people are not welcome in our state/city.

Seattle students drown out anti-gay demonstration | Top Stories |
Seattle News, Local News, Breaking News, Weather | KING5.com


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A week after a twenty year late prom....

Alright, so last weekend was the Dudley Manlove annual 80's prom, and now that I have had a few days to reflect back on it I have a few things to say.

First of all, AWESOME!  Man, it was killer rocking out the stage at Neumos with hits by Journey, Simple Minds, Duran Duran and Asia.  Yes, for all of you peeps out there that said you would come and did not show up, you totally missed it!  I gotta say, this was way better than my prom!  I recommend to all high schools forking out the money to hire our band to come and play prom!  

My close friend Randy Wilhite (If you don't know this guy, you should.  Me and Randy have made some epic memories together that I will never forget.  Shout out to Jeff also for coming to help!  Good guys, good guys!) was taking 'prom pictures' the night of the show and it was hilarious.  You can check some of them out at  this website.  Classic 80's cheezy prom pics!  What a blast.

Neumo's seemed absolutely packed when we were there playing but at the end of the night it turns out that we only had a little over half the venue full, and it holds 600.  It used to hold 800, but hell, I do not know where all those people would go.  Someone told me that they ended up closing the upstairs, and supposedly because it was memorial day weekend it was supposed to be a hard night to get people to come out, but... I blame it on all you retards that said you would come, and then did not!  We wanted to sell this one out bad, and tried hard too!

I might be over re-acting, it was still really fun, and really full.  

14 things that everyone who did not come, missed.

1.  Plastic pants make Mack sweaty.

2.  Kim Virant (one of our special guests) is a great singer, and has a great voice.  But still... True by Spandau Ballet is the longest song ever.  More D- chords than playing So What at 80 bpm.  Oh god, that was a terrible jazz joke!  Thank you Chuck Deardorf for instilling the jazz joke gene inside of me, lol!

3. Lots of make up, and lots of prom dresses, and big freakin hair everywhere I looked.  

4.  It turns out that my outfit for the night (see below) matches perfectly with a tallboy of Pabst Blue Ribbon.  Go to the website above and look for the picture.

5.  Clark Gibson, close friend and total bad ass jazz saxophone player, DESTROYED every sax solo for the night.  They were so epic, and there were so many dips, scoops, bends, reverb and held altisimo notes that I swore I was in heaven.

6.  Chris Ballew of the Presidents Of the United States of America, works a crowd like a madman!  On a side note, I finally got to ask him a question that I have been wanting to ask him since I was an 8 year old boy.  You see, the Presidents cd was the first cd that I ever owned, and my friend Leif LaFuente told me when I was just a kid that the song Peaches was about sex.  No way, absolutely no way.  Well, turns out it is... I took it to the source and asked him in front of everyone!  

7.  Stefan plays a nasty roto-tom.

8.  Stefan plays a nasty A on the old Juno.

9.  Craig sounded great, played more distortion than normal and at one point was rolling around shredding on the ground.

10. I totally forgot how to end a song that we have played a hundred times - blew it mack, you freaking blew it!!!

11.  Jeff wore a very stripy shirt and came up with our new ad campaign for our upcoming club gigs in July.  ("For Two Slices of All American Cheese, come celebrate the birthday of our country at the Triple Door with the Dudley Manlove Quartet!" Haha, perfect.  Nice delivery too Jeff, I have it on mini-disc!)

12.  A un-named friend... Ian Borak... got kicked out of the club because he was supposed to be Prom King, and tried to climb through the DJ to get to the stage!  I tried to get them to let him back in, but that bouncer from Boston is freaking gigantic!

13.  Played a whole set of Keytar.

14.  I was warned against this, and I did not believe it, but the staff at Neumo's started to act like a bunch of tools at the end of the night.  Thats not cool man, were all just trying to have a good time!

These were audience photos, official pics coming soon.

Until next time!

Mack

P.S. Jeff, any video footage on youtube yet?

Looks like I am checking out Stefan, we had a discussion on Facebook about this and that was the consensus. 

Clark is killin it, every time.  I think Craig is singing... lol
Asking Chris my important question.

Getting attacked after the show... who is that?

Bronco's, Herbs, and El Chepultepec... DENVER!

After driving for hours through the midwest - (In Iowa we hit some super heavy wind, which made things interesting... and because we had not slept at all the night before we had to stop at a "Loves" gas station and take a nap for an hour, not gonna lie, it was kind of ghetto!)  we made it to Denver.  

After visiting with some of Clark's old friends from high-school we met up with our friend Dan Schwinnt, who was putting us up while we were in town.  We unloaded our stuff and got ready to head out for the evening.  Now, while we were in Denver for four days we hung out at a lot of the same music venues, so I am going to try to just hit the highlights at each venue, instead of taking you through a chronological monster blog of the whole thing.  I need to be better at updating the blog daily, so that something like this does not happen!

Herbs:  Kind of a dive bar, nice stage though!  Clark is friends with the owner, and the first night we were there we saw a r&b band, AOA.  Man, I thought they were excellent - we do not have any r&b or blues bands up here in Seattle.  They were just playing James Brown, Earth Wind and Fire, some old hip-hop stuff, man I thought it was awesome.  Great players too - the singer was this freakin buff military guy, who could play a good rhythm guitar also.  (Another thing we do not have up here... rhythm guitar players!)  The second night we were here, was after we played a gig at Dazzle's and we were partying.  There was an organ trio playing, this guy Vlad was playing b3, and Laura the owner was playing tenor, and this guy Mark was playing drums.  Met a lot of players at Herbs, everyone was nice.  There was this guitar player - he was blonde, and his name was Andrew.  I had seen him everyday in Denver at the same jam sessions and gigs we were at - he was super cool.  Anyways, we were outside chatting on the patio and this older, sketchy blonde woman in her late fifties came up to us.  She started hitting on us dudes hard core, you know, in a disturbing way.  Then she busts out with - " Yea, I used coke and meth for years. " It was pretty obvious.  Anyways, then Andrew says he is gonna go get another drink and straight up ditches me with this scary woman.  I am too nice, because I just let her talk to me for a long time instead of just getting out of there!  At one point she touched my arm and said "My friends are leaving hun, but I do not have to go with them....." as if to suggest something absolutely terrifying and disgusting.  Anyways, Andrew, if by chance you read this ever, thanks dick.

El Chepultapec - Supposedly this was a super hot spot the whole time Clark was living in Denver.  Apparently it was the shittiest bar ever, and Clark was severely disappointed to see that they had re-done the inside.  Because it was not as crappy, supposedly it has lost its charm, and was now coincidentally even crappier!  We came here basically every night we went out, it was right next to Herbs, and all the other hotspots in Denver.  Each time it was what appeared to be a jam session, which was cool.  There was usually a crowd in The Pec as it is called.  They have some sort of terrible piano, just because it is a grand piano does not mean that it is any good!  A lot of kids from CU would come jam at The Pec, there was an alto player that was killing, and a trumpet player or two that could blow great solos.  The Pec is right in the middle of all the Denver hot spots - so every night there are a bunch of drunk assholes outside looking to get in a fight.  I think they called it LODO, and it was like a combination of the U-district in seattle with pioneer square and belltown.  I was pretty sure we were gonna get in a fight at some point, people are rough drunks down there.  One guy tried to pick a fight with us by stealing our lighter!  Hahaha, what a tool!  He can have it.

Random Boulder Colorado Jam Session - This jam was at a hotel/blues bar.  It sucked.  The players were excellent, at least the house band was.  Mark Simon on bass, and the drum instructor from CU and some hippie pianist named Andy something.  The rest of the jam was filled out by a pretty terrible group of middle aged vocalists, singing jazz choir style, songs like fly me to the moon.  They were not good.  I do not have that much against jazz choirs, but this was pretty terrible.  So sitting in I think I played some vocal standards that got all fucked up and beats were lost and shit got turned around.  No fun, I felt bad the rest of the band were these high school kids and they had no idea what was happening, so I just dragged them through the mess and got out of there.   Funny thing though, Richie Cole the famous alto player just happened to be at the jam session.  What the hell was he doing there?  We talked to him after wards and it turns out he just likes to come out to Boulder and hang some times.  He sounded good when he played, and was happy to hear that we saw Phil Woods play in Chicago.

Dazzle - is a great club.  It is similar to the Jazz Alley of Denver.  Nice Yamaha grand piano in the dinner room, and a Kawaii in the bar.  Music every night, beautiful room and stage!  This is where we played our gig.  The lineup was me on piano, Clark on saxophones, and then Dan Schwindt on guitar, Dwight something or other on Bass and Bill on drums.  This was Clark's quartet from Denver + me for the gig.  They are all excellent players, and they are cool guys to hang with.  We played some heavy hitters at the gig - Joshua, the Miles tune kicked my ass.  Who would have guessed that I was not going to see the little 3x that was written at the end of the section that switches from 3/4 to 4/4?  Well, as you can guess, shit went down pretty hard!  We managed to recover though on the next few tunes.  Lots of Clark's originals and Dan's originals, we played Dear Old Stockholm which was bad ass because I had just learned it.  I love that tune!  Anyways, after our gig (which unfortunately was not as full as we had hoped) we meandered over to the bar on the other side of this wall.  In the lounge section of the club, Dan who just played the gig with us, ran a Tuesday night jam session.  I did not play at this session, I was just hanging out with the other guys from the band the whole time.  This jam went on until midnight, and then we went over to Herbs for a jam session, and then onwards to some 4:00 am breakfast!  

All in all, I had a great time and met a bunch of cats that all sounded good.  That is a great thing to have music in common with people when you go to a new town, it can make you some good friends real fast.  During the days in Denver it was hot as hell, which was nice.  I hung out at the river a bunch, walked around downtown (which is about a third the size of downtown seattle) and went to an aquarium where I watched tigers.  Think that does not make sense?  It doesn't... but it really happened!  

The drive home back to Washington sucked bad.  About 22 hours straight.  The worst parts were Wyoming and Utah.  There is nothing there, except Salt Lake City.... which seemed pretty sucky from the truck!

Anyways, I have a lot more to write about, so peace out until the next blog!  I think it will be about the Dudley Manlove Quartet 80's prom!  What a bunch of trouble makers we are!

Cheers,

Mack

1. Swordfish at aquarium!  What a weird animal.

2. Park that runs along the Platte river, downtown Denver.  Park covers the entire bank of the river in city limits.

3. ......

4. Best friends on the ride home.  22 hrs of hell!  Ahh!

70 hrs of music in Chicago

I arrived at the airport Thursday morning at 7 o'clock a.m. for my 8:45 flight to Chicago. I fly somewhere about once or twice a year, so I do not fly that often, which means that sometimes I forget that it is a pretty brutal thing for someone as tall as me to be slammed into a typical airplane seat. I was excited I got the window seat, but this was quickly counter-acted by the two year old toddler sitting in front of me with her grandparents, and the infant sitting directly behind me. While one small child would cry (the one in front) the one behind me was busy trying to pull my hair. When I sit in an airplane seat, and recline it, I am still too tall for the seat, so my head hangs back further over the seat than the average person. This made it easy for the curious baby to reach out and grab and yank, or to just caress the back of my head.

There were two things that I noticed immediately about Illinois from the plane. There are a lot of lakes, and Lake Michigan is one big mother of a lake. I got off the plane, said goodbye to my young friends, and went out into the humidity to meet Clark in our new home... the black 2002 Dodge Durango. We dropped off our stuff at a cheap hotel just outside of town and jumped in the car at four o'clock on a Thursday evening and started the drive into Chicago. People think that we have bad traffic in Seattle... oh boy are they in for a treat. It took us about two hours to travel twenty miles into town, and then another hour to find a legal parking spot inside the city. Four hour plane ride + Three hour, twenty mile drive = we better have some fun.

Chicago is a great city - it makes Seattle look like the sticks. The downtown area is huge, there are people of all nationalities all over the place, and it sounds like a 'real' city. You always hear trains, subways, people talking or yelling, sirens, horns... then the smells (good and bad). It was slightly overwhelming at first. It reminded me of cartoons I used to watch when I was a kid, and how the cities would be portrayed. It really is like that! The parks and public spaces are kept really clean downtown, and all along Lake Michigan is a giant park that stretches miles and miles - as far as I could tell it bordered the whole lake. The weather was nice - reminded me of Seattle. The city is right on the lake, so it keeps it kind of cool and windy.

We grabbed a bite at a Potbelly Deli (sandwich chain) and then headed out to see some music. The first thing we went and saw was at the "Jazz Showcase" right downtown. The DePaul University Jazz Ensemble was playing, it was their top big band, and their special guest was Phil Woods. The Jazz Showcase is a pretty cool club, kind of reminds me of a lot of other jazz clubs that I have been in. The big band opened up with a few charts, and then called out the Phil Woods Quartet. I forget who was playing bass and drums, but I know Jim McNeely was playing piano. So the big band and the Phil Woods Quartet finished out the set. Phil is a nasty alto player, but he is getting pretty sick. It was happy to see him still playing, but he had to take a couple breaks to catch his breath while the rest of the band played. The highlight of the show that night was a student arrangement of a Phil Woods tune. This trumpet player (2nd trumpet) wrote an arrangement and won the "Downbeat Best Student Arranger" award. It kicked ass. The big band in general just seemed like a good college band to me, they were not as exceptional as Chicago musicians had been built up in my mind. Freaking outstanding vibes player though - best player in the band, and he only got to play on a handful of tunes.

Then we rolled over to the Green Mill - Al Capone's old hang, it was once owned by "Machine Gun" Jack McGum. We were meeting a friend of Chad Mccullough's. We walked into the Green Mill and it was the most bizarre experience ever. It was like we were in the 30's. The act for the night was a swing band, and man they were exceptional. It was another big band, and they played a bunch of traditional swing charts, had a guy and girl singer, and an announcer. It was a large band, a eighteen pieces or so. Stylistically everything sounded exactly like those old recordings of swing bands you hear, except their was no poor sound quality! All the soloists sounded like swing players, nobody was showing off or playing any crazy shit - just pocket playing, and it was great! Not to mention that it was standing room only (200+ peeps), there was swing dancing on the dance floor in front of the band, and between every song they either had the announcer speak to the audience and make jokes/announce the next songs, or they had the singers do these comical thirty second commercials. It was a blast! One more funny thing... Pabst Blue Ribbon is brewed in Milwaukee, which is just north of Chicago. It is a much more respected beer in the mid-west. After this we went back to the hotel and crashed hard.

Next day we visited the University of Illinois, near Champagne. It was a long drive, through very flat farm lands. I was surprised at how green this part of the midwest was though, granted it was May and not August when I am sure everything was brown and burnt. The school reminded me a bit of WSU - except in a bigger town. Everything was perfectly flat also - that was really weird being born and raised in western washington, where everything is a hill. Ate some food, bought some groceries. Clark was supposed to have a meeting with the department chair, but we got stood up (after traveling how far..?) so that was a bummer. On the ride home it started to rain real hard. It rains a lot in Washington, but it rains hard in Illinois.

After getting back into town, we went back to the Green Mill to check out the Victor Goines quartet who was playing that night. Victor was the leader of the Lincoln Center Jazz Orchestra for a while, and also was head of the department at Juliard. Now he is the head of the department at Northwestern University in Chicago (which has a jazz program of 9 students total). This show kicked ass. I mean, they were playing hard, it was great. They just called tunes the whole night, but they could all play at a level which just made it incredible. Dana Hall, the drummer, teaches at the University of Illinois, and is possibly one of the best drummers I have ever seen. Marlene Rosenberg was the bassist, great player and she could groove hard with the drummer. She kind of reminded me of Margie Pos at cornish. The piano player was the weakest link, still great, but I felt he was not at the same level as the rest of the band. Ryan Cohen was his name. Actually, I take it back, he did sound great at first. But half way through the 2nd of 3 sets he did not know the tune All of You, that a special guest singer from New Orleans was singing with the band. From that point on, he was not doing so hot, he lost his confidence.

They played Jitterbug Waltz - it was awesome, I am going to learn that tune.

Their gig got over at 1 in the morning, and at 2 in the morning a jam session started. We stuck around long enough to play, and then split. It is led by a DJ from the local jazz radio station - and although they were a good band, after hearing the best shit I have heard in years they sounded like shit. Me and Clark were sitting in at the same time as some chick singer, which meant we had to play There Will Never Be (in the key of Ab) and There is No Greater Love. Plain. (I did feel kind of at fault though, she wanted to play s'marvelous, but I did not know it. If that is that tune from the musical that goes "Swonderful, S'marvelous, .... " then I am glad I did not know it, that song sucks bad.) Ran into a friend of Dan Kramlich out there, a killin' alto player. Dan if you are reading this, he says hi! I forget his name, but he went to school in Michigan with you, shaggy brown hair, shorter.

We hung out til about 3:30 am (another glorious thing about Chicago - clubs/bars are open til four, serve til four, then open again at six!) and decided to save some money on a hotel, and just start the drive (16 hours) right then... Dundun duh........! Will they make it? Will they survive or will they get lost and wake up naked somewhere in the middle of a cornfield in Iowa, or will both happen?

(pics - 1. Inside the Green Mill, famous club. 2. Everywhere in Illinois outside chicago. 3. Chicago. 4. Definitely not Starbucks out here!

Listening

Just wanted to make a short blog post to mention two different groups that I have been listening to lately.

The first is a duo between Italian pianist Stefano Bollani and trumpeter Enrico Rava. These two guys play together as a duo so incredibly well. The way Stefano approaches the piano is remarkable, I think that he really just plays tons of music. He has quickly risen to the top of my list of favorite pianists, along with Brad Mehldau and Gonzalo Rubalcaba. If you go on youtube and checkout Stefano you will see that he plays so much differently than both of those guys, he really uses the entire piano. More than anything, he sounds like an entire band, which really makes his duo playing with Enrico Rava seem more like a quartet or even a larger ensemble when I am listening. The way that he improvises and plays harmony is very different than a lot of the American pianists approach it, but you can tell he has absolute control, and has some different influences as an Italian pianist. Enrico Rava is a great trumpet player, I really think he has a great tone - not too bright. Occasionally a note will "burn out", but I actually think that adds to the charm of his playing. It seems real. Their arrangements are outstanding, and I can hear how much they have played together when listening, you can tell they have a real connection.

The other group is the Florian Ross Trio. Florian Ross is a German pianist, and seems a little more streamlined jazz than Stefano Bollani (which reminds me, Stefano has a superb tango feel!). I have been listening to his album "Big Fish, Small Pond" trying to expand my library of piano trio albums, and I am really getting into this album. He has a few short interlude pieces, all titled Swim, followed by some body of water (ie. swim -- pond). These are interesting, and they leave me wondering how much was composed, if any. Florian experiments with a delay on the piano for a few of these, which is really a nice change from the modern piano trio style of some of the other tracks. My favorite song on the album is "Lucky for a Quarter". This is more of a simple song harmonically, but it is the ultimate in tasty. There is a section several forms in on the piano solo where the bass and drums drop into a pedal - This is the highlight of the tune for me, great ensemble playing.
Check it out here.

It has been a while since I have really gotten into any musicians, so I am pretty excited about these guys! They are definitely great musicians, and inspiring/motivating also... although Stefano Bollani seems to play at an unattainable level!

Sincerely,

Mack

The Jazz Jam Session -- Short story by Bill Anschell

The following short story was somewhat of a internet phenomenon several years ago. I remember reading this when I was in high school jazz band, and thinking that it was so funny that someone could write this story, and be so spot on with all their stereotypes about instrumentalists. It was not until just the other day did I realize that Seattle's Bill Anschell is the author of the story! I wanted to post this because it is funny, especially if you have been to and or sat in at jam sessions, and I want to give credit to Bill for writing it for all of those years that I referred to it and did not know who the author was. What a small world huh, he turns out to live here in Seattle! Check out his website at www.billanschell.com

Anyways, pay close attention to the part about instrumentalists and their personalities... I especially like the part about bald pianists and toy soldiers (and stinky drummers!).

Jazz Jam Sessions: A First-Timer’s Guide

Ready to check out your first jam session? There’s much more to jazz music - and to the “session” in particular - than meets the eye. This primer will help you better appreciate the intense psychodrama being played out on stage. Special “Insider’s Hints” (“I.H.”) highlighted throughout the text will help you make the most of your maiden voyage.

I.H.: Although your food and drink dollars are the lifeblood of the jazz economy, remember that to the musicians, you’re irrelevant. Don’t make requests. Don’t start dancing. And don’t try to sing along. The last thing the session needs is another ego. Things are complicated enough already.

1) The Room

Session venues fall into two distinct categories:

Yuppie jazz dives
Yuppies don’t generally like dives, but jazz, to a Yuppie, is a daring adventure. There may be no valet parking, but caution be damned!

The club will be located in a “transitional” part of town. Walking hurriedly from parking space to venue will raise the courageous Yuppie’s heartbeat past Stairmaster level. All the more gratifying, then, to finally feel the club’s warm embrace. Home at last among the expensive cigars and fancy martinis.

The food will be overpriced and lousy. There will be at least one fake Cajun dish on the menu. There will be an abstract painting of a saxophonist. There will be a state-of-the-art ventilation system that makes the thick cigar smoke swirl around in impressionistic patterns. In the restrooms, a fresh coat of Lysol won’t fully supress the smell of vomit.

There will be no piano, or there will be a Samick. “Samick,” translated from Korean, means “looks like a Steinway but sounds like a Hyundai.” (I.H.: an actual piano; can Yugo be far behind?) The room itself will be an acoustical nightmare. In the absence of carpeting or drapery, sounds will reverberate and distort like a bad LSD trip. Feeding this psychedelic nightmare will the the bar’s blender, a cash register, a big-screen television, and a CD player cranking out music that bears no resemblance to jazz. When the band starts, somebody will forget to turn the CD off. Yuppie conversation, to compete with these sounds, is elevated to a roar. Somewhere, in the background, a jam session takes place.

Non-Yuppie jazz dives
Same as Yuppie jazz dives, but without the Lysol.

I.H.: Sit as close to the band as possible. Stare intensely at each musician during his solo, and move your mouth along with his lines. Don’t smile. Now watch - each will assume that: a) you play his instrument, and b) you think he sucks. You are “vibing” them, and they’ll come undone. All jazz players, regardless of age, instrument, or ability, are deeply insecure. Have fun with this.

2) The Musicians

While a jazz artist may claim to have a “unique voice” on his instrument, sociological analysis tells us otherwise. In reality, jazz players are simply the embodiment of instrumental archetypes. Jam sessions, then, are the playing-out of archetypal conflicts. Jazz “standards” performed at the sessions make up the script. Over time, an epic play is realized. Here are the characters:

Piano: Pianists are intellectuals and know-it-alls. They studied theory, harmony and composition in college. Most are riddled with self-doubt. They are usually bald. They should have big hands, but often don’t. They were social rejects as adolescents. They go home after the gig and play with toy soldiers. Pianists have a special love-hate relationship with singers. If you talk to the piano player during a break, he will condescend.

Bass: Bassists are not terribly smart. The best bassists come to terms with their limitations by playing simple lines and rarely soloing. During the better musical moments, a bassist will pull his strings hard and grunt like an animal. Bass players are built big, with paws for hands, and they are always bent over awkwardly. If you talk to the bassist during a break, you will not be able to tell whether or not he’s listening.

Drums: Drummers are radical. Specific personalities vary, but are always extreme. A drummer might be the funniest person in the world, or the most psychotic, or the smelliest. Drummers are uneasy because of the many jokes about them, most of which stem from the fact that they aren’t really musicians. Pianists are particularly successful at making drummers feel bad. Most drummers are highly excitable; when excited, they play louder. If you decide to talk to the drummer during a break, be careful not to sneak up on him.

Saxophone: Saxophonists think they are the most important players on stage. Consequently, they are temperamental and territorial. They know all the Coltrane and Bird licks but have their own sound, a mixture of Coltrane and Bird. They take exceptionally long solos, which reach a peak half way through and then just don’t stop. They practice quietly but audibly while other people are trying to play. They are obsessed. Saxophonists sleep with their instruments, forget to shower, and are mangy. If you talk to a saxophonist during a break, you will hear a lot of excuses about his reeds.

Trumpet: Trumpet players are image-conscious and walk with a swagger. They are often former college linebackers. Trumpet players are very attractive to women, despite the strange indentation on their lips. Many of them sing; misguided critics then compare them to either Louis Armstrong or Chet Baker depending whether they’re black or white. (I.H.: Arrive at the session early, and you may get to witness the special trumpet game. The rules are: play as loud and as high as possible. The winner is the one who plays loudest and highest. Caution: It is loud and high.) If you talk to a trumpet player during a break, he might confess that his favorite player is Maynard Ferguson, the merciless God of loud-high trumpeting.

Guitar: Jazz guitarists are never very happy. Deep inside they want to be rock stars, but they’re old and overweight. In protest, they wear their hair long, prowl for groupies, drink a lot, and play too loud. Guitarists hate piano players because they can hit ten notes at once, but guitarists make up for it by playing as fast as they can. The more a guitarist drinks, the higher he turns his amp. Then the drummer starts to play harder, and the trumpeter dips into his loud/high arsenal. Suddenly, the saxophonist’s universe crumbles, because he is no longer the most important player on stage. He packs up his horn, nicks his best reed in haste, and storms out of the room. The pianist struggles to suppress a laugh. If you talk to a guitarist during the break he’ll ask intimate questions about your 14-year-old sister.

Vocals: Vocalists are whimsical creations of the all-powerful jazz gods. They are placed in sessions to test musicians’ capacity for suffering. They are not of the jazz world, but enter it surrepticiously. Example: A young woman is playing minor roles in college musical theater. One day, a misguided campus newspaper critic describes her singing as “...jazzy.” Voila! A star is born! Quickly she learns “My Funny Valentine,” “Summertime,” and “Route 66.” Her training complete, she embarks on a campaign of session terrorism. Musicians flee from the bandstand as she approaches. Those who must remain feel the full fury of the jazz universe (see “The Vocalist” below). I.H.: The vocalist will try to seduce you - and the rest of the audience - by making eye contact, acknowledging your presence, even talking to you between tunes. DO NOT FALL INTO THIS TRAP! Look away, your distaste obvious. Otherwise the musicians will avoid you during their breaks. Incidentally, if you talk to a vocalist during a break, she will introduce you to her “manager.”

Trombone: The trombone is known for its pleading, voice-like quality. “Listen,” it seems to say in the male tenor range, “Why won’t anybody hire me for a gig?” Trombonists like to play fast, because their notes become indistinguishable and thus immune to criticism. Most trombonists played trumpet in their early years, then decided they didn’t want to walk around with a strange indentation on their lips. Now they hate trumpet players, who somehow get all the women despite this disfigurement. Trombonists are usually tall and lean, with forlorn faces. They don’t eat much. They have to be very friendly, because nobody really needs a trombonist. Talk to a trombonist during a break and he’ll ask you for a gig, try to sell you insurance, or offer to mow your lawn.

3) The Music

Now that you know a little bit about the room and the players, it’s time to turn your attention to the music. Your new-found knowledge will give you astonishing insights. Let’s look at some typical session landmarks:

Picking the Tune

Every time a tune ends, someone has to pick a new one. That’s a fundamental concept that, unfortunately, runs at odds with jam session group processes.

Tune selection makes a huge difference to the musicians. They love to show off on tunes that feel comfortable, and they tremble at the threat of the unknown. But to pick a tune is to invite close scrutiny: “So this is how you sound at your best. Hmm...” It’s a complex issue with unpredictable outcomes. Sometimes no one wants to pick a tune, and sometimes everyone wants to pick a tune.

The resulting disagreements lead to faction-building and - under extreme conditions - even impromptu elections. The politics of tune selection makes for some of the session’s best entertainment.

Example 1: No one wants to pick a tune

(previous tune ends)

(silence)

trumpet player: “What the f#@*? Is someone gonna to pick a tune?”

(silence)

trumpet player: “This s%!* is lame. I’m outa here.” (Storms out of room, forgetting to pay tab).

rest of band (in unison): “Yes!!!” (Band takes extended break, puts drinks on trumpet player’s tab).



Example 2: Everyone wants to pick a tune, resulting in impromptu election and eventual tune selection

(previous tune ends)

(pianist and guitarist simultaneously): “Beautiful Love!”/“Donna Lee!”

guitarist to pianist: “You just want to play your fat, stupid ten-note chords!”

pianist to guitarist: “You just want to play a lot of notes really fast!”

saxophonist: "Giant Steps’.” (I.H.: a treacherous Coltrane tune practiced obsessively by saxophonists.)

guitarist and pianist (together): “Go ahead, asshole.”

trumpet player: "This s%!* is lame. 'Night in Tunisia'.” (I.H.: a Dizzy Gillespie tune offering bounteous opportunities for loud, high playing.)

saxophonist: "Sorry, forgot my earplugs, Maynard."

(long, awkward silence)

pianist, guitarist, saxophonist, trumpet player all turn to drummer: "Your turn, Skin-head."

(drummer pauses to think of hardest possible tune) I.H.: a time-tested drummer ploy to punish real musicians who play actual notes

drummer: "Stablemates."

trumpet player: F#@* this! I’m outa here.” (Storms out of room. Bartender chases after him.)

("Stablemates”)

trombonist: “Did someone forget to turn off the CD player?”

Not only are these disagreements fun to watch; they create tensions that will last all through the night. I.H.: As an educated audience member, you might want to keep a flow chart diagramming the shifting alliances. You can also keep statistics on individual tune-calling. Under no circumstances, though, should you take sides or yell out song titles. Things are complicated enough already.

The Newcomer

The first set ends without further controversy. The guitarist, still sober, has kept his volume down. The saxophonist eventually found a reed that didn’t traumatize him. The trombonist handed out business cards. The pianist kept his ego in check. No one told any drummer jokes, and the bassist grunted during the better moments. Sure, they lost a trumpet player, but no one really likes trumpet players anyway (except women and misguided critics).

Now other musicians will sit in. Some are regulars, others are unknown. Look toward the bandstand. Musicians new to the session will be hovering about the fringes, wondering how to proceed. There should be a sign-up sheet, but isn’t. There should be a charismatic leader, too; forget it. These are fundamental concepts that, again, run at odds with jam session group processes.

I.H.: Pretend you’re in charge. Approach these hovering musicians one by one. Ask who they normally play with, then stare at them blankly. Ask what tune they’d like to play, and shake your head in disgust. Ask if they’re students. Ask why they aren’t at a paying gig. Ask if they mind waiting until a singer shows up. This is important work you’re doing - cultivating insecurities, planting seeds for eventual drama. If instigating doesn’t come naturally to you, go have a drink or two. There. Now try again. Good.

Eventually, things sort themselves out, and the set begins. Interpersonal dynamics grow more complex. As a newcomer approaches the bandstand, the house musicians sit in judgment; the visitor is on trial. At the same time, the house musicians are slyly observing one another’s reactions, not fully trusting their own. Meanwhile, each is also acutely conscious of his own reactions being judged, and is hesitant to react at all. Added to this is the backlash factor: If the newcomer proves to be a great player, his own judgments of the house band - especially if it was initially unwelcoming - could be devastating.

So the house musicians take the safest route, hiding behind impassive faces, affecting a veil of stoicism. This further unnerves the newcomer. He may feel that he is being “vibed,” or that he has somehow failed before he has even begun.

But there is no turning around - one of the few set rules in the session Code of Conduct. The newcomer reluctantly calls a tune, looks in vain for approval, then counts it off. His job now is to sound relaxed and confident, and, of course, to have fun. His success in doing so will lead either of two outcomes:

1) Rejection

newcomer: “How about a ballad?”

saxophonist: “Are you crazy? LISTEN!”

(blender blends, tv blares, cash register rings, Yuppies roar, room echoes cavernously)

newcomer: “Okay, how about something loud and fast?”

(pianist points at guitarist): “What, you want to set Eddie Van Halen loose?”

Seeing no potential for consensus, the newcomer starts playing a blues tune. It’s a smart move: everyone sounds good on the blues, so no one complains. And since this is the first tune of the set, there haven’t been ten other blues tunes yet, though there will be. A good start, no doubt, but the jury is still out...

I.H.: There’s much more on these players’ minds than just melody, harmony, and rhythm. Let’s see what they’re REALLY thinking, captured in mid-tune:

saxophonist: S%!*! Another sad-ass, no-playing student: Improv 101, licks-to-go, play-by-number, your name here. Who needs ears? Who needs history? I need a drink.

guitarist: Holy s%!* - this cat’s got licks from hell! Burning it up! (looks around; sees saxophonist scowling) But I gotta be careful - these guys already think I’m some kinda Van Halen chops freak, like I got no soul, like I didn't pay dues in Motown cover bands for eight years. They won't cut me any slack, the arrogant bastards. Now if I hook up with this new cat, they’ll just laugh about it. F#@* them! I should call "Dock of the Bay" and see how they do. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just go get a beer (leaves stage).

drummer: Man, this cat is swinging! Here, baby, take THIS (plays a complicated rhythmic figure against the newcomer’s lines, loud). Are we going somewhere? We might be going somewhere. I FEEL LIKE WE’RE GOING SOMEWHERE! Yeah, baby. This is for you! (catches newcomers rhythms with his high-hat). We could be hooking up now. WE’RE HOOKING UP NOW! GO, BABY!

bassist (digging in): Grrrhh. Gnmnt. Glppnt.

pianist: I’m so sick of this crap. Yeah, I can play the same twelve bars over and over while you jerk off ad nauseum, you little s%!*. You and all your friends. Then we get to my solo 25 minutes later and no one even notices all the s%!* I’m playing. Put the tune out of its misery already, for chrissake. But wait, what’s that? Whoa, hang on! This cat’s playing some serious lines - maybe better than my lines? My God, what if I’m not really that great? But, s%!*, I mean I’ve heard Herbie (I.H.: Hancock, legendary jazz pianist) play lines worse than this, too. So maybe this cat’s great, and I still could be really good. Or, maybe he’s really good, and I’m just pretty good. Or maybe he’s barely decent, and I suck. Why won’t anyone just tell me? I hate this asshole.

trombonist: Oh, God, Help!!! Two guys dig him. Two guys don’t. The guitarist left. They’re all looking at me. Think, man, think: The piano player was maybe gonna use me on a gig next Sunday; can’t piss him off. But I was working the insurance thing with the drummer - no, that was the guitarist. Wait: who was about to buy an amp from me? The bassist - hell, that don’t matter. But this new cat, he sounds pretty damn good - maybe he’ll get some gigs I can play on. The sax player’s never gonna use me for anything, anyway. But everybody seems to respect the crusty bastard. I don’t know. I guess this new guy sucks, kinda.

(house musicians, exchanging glances, begin rolling their eyes. Piano player starts hitting ugly chords. Drummer succumbs to the group will and forces a yawn. Bass player is oblivious.)

(newcomer ends solo. No response. He is not invited to play another tune. He leaves the stage dejected, head hanging. Boys can be so cruel...)

2) Acceptance

newcomer: “How about a ballad?”

saxophonist: “Are you crazy? LISTEN!”

(blender blends, tv blares, cash register rings, Yuppies roar, room echoes cavernously)

newcomer (pointing at you): “But HE told me I could call whatever I want.”

all musicians (turning to you): “Who the hell are YOU? Who put YOU in charge?”

I.H.: Shut your mouth. NOW.

newcomer: “Aw, forget that asshole. Let’s just play ‘Cherokee’.”

(“Cherokee” begins. The musicians all bond in the face of a common enemy - you. In their newfound brotherhood, they drop their defenses and enjoy the music. They are pointing their horns at you and playing with great emotion. It is the sound of jazz: Joy, sorrow and anger. You should take the anger personally. You should leave while it is safe.)

(But, no, there’s still so much to be learned. Take a chance: Order a round of drinks for everyone. Hope they’ll forgive you. As it turns out, you’re suddenly the hero. They need the drinks, in a big way, because approaching the bandstand now is...)

The Vocalist

She’s wearing a tight-fitting dress. Her hair is a sculpture. She glides to the bandstand like a model on a runway, ignoring the drink stains and cigarette burns peppering the floor. Her posture is perfect, her arms move just so. She picks up the mike and balances it between three arched fingers. She turns to the audience, a stagey, far-away look in her eyes. “Oh Jesus, here we go,” the saxophonist says under his breath.

“How about a hand for these hard-working guys,” she says, just like she is supposed to. There is no applause. She laughs a stage laugh and tries again. “Where are you all from? Anyone here from New York?” Silence. The crowd is captivated - not by her, but by a racy rock video blasting over the television. Still, she tries. “How many of you are in love?” she asks, giggling a little girl giggle. She’s looking right at you, because you’re the only one paying attention. The musicians are looking at you, too. “You’re NOT from New York, and you’re NOT in love,” their dark eyes say.

“Not a real talkative bunch, are you?” she asks rhetorically, then turns to the band. “Well, I guess we’d better give them something to talk about.” She winks at the sax player, who almost spits. “Do you fellas know ‘Summertime’?” There is a collective shudder. “What key?” the pianist asks, knowing she won’t have an answer. Her veneer momentarily fades; she is in trouble. She did not prepare for the session by practicing or figuring out her keys. She prepared for it by buying a new outfit and having her hair coiffed.

But then she has an idea. With studied nonchalance, she says: “You, know. The regular key.” There is a collective snort. “Regular?” asks the pianist. Not decaf?” The others join in. “Not unleaded?” asks the saxophonist. “Not minty fresh?” asks the drummer. “Not extra wide?” asks the trombonist. “Not the special prescription-strength formula with possible side effects including nausea, headaches, and dry-mouth?” asks the bassist. All turn and stare at him in amazement. The trumpet player shouldn’t have left so soon. This is too much fun.

Now she is near tears. All she can do is start singing, and she lands half-way between two keys. “Lovely,” the pianist mutters. “Quarter-tone explorations on ‘Summertime.’ B minor-and-a-half. C minor-minus. John Cage meets Liza Minelli. Ravi Shankar meets Barbara Streisand. Here, lady, I’ll help you - forgive me, guys. Just because I’m brilliant doesn’t mean I’m heartless. Let’s put it in C minor, and here’s your melody note. Now sing, or act, or whatever it is you do.”

The band joins in, and she works her way through the song’s two choruses. Her voice is pleasant, but barely discernable beneath a haphazard dungheap of inflections that are her “jazz bag.” She approaches the end of the melody. “PLEASE DON’T SCAT! PLEASE, PLEASE!” the musicans silently implore. She scats. There are shooby-doos. There are piercing wails. There are throaty moans. There is writhing and grimacing. There are photo ops. She is smiling at the band, inviting them to feel the spirit. They return blank stares. Finally the saxophonist can take no more. He begins soloing loudly, pointing his horn right at her. The band launches into 20 minutes of improvisation, and the music is good. They have, once again, found a common enemy. Again there is great joy and sorrow and anger. This time, they are not angry at you.

The tune ends. Before anyone can make a move, the vocalist launches into “Route 66.” It is a pre-emptive strike on her part, a brilliant tactical maneuver. The band has no choice but to play along - it’s too late to call up the next artist. Even their emergency bail-out plan - leaving the stage for a premature break - has been disabled. Six musicians crushed by one singer in a single, clean surgical strike. Having won the upper hand, she assumes the role of benevolent dictator. She does not scat. She demands that the audience applaud for each soloist (I.H.: Go ahead). The musicians, in turn, take short polite solos. A new world order has been established.

But the regime will prove a short one. Like any leader buoyed by new-found power, she feels compelled to test the limits. She dips deep into her Star Search bag, pulling out the secret weapon she’s been saving for just such a moment. Ammo that will blast the blender, tv, cash register, and roaring Yuppies into stunned silence. All will stand in awe. She will, at last, be discovered. “Get your kicks,” she belts, “on Route...Sixty...” She throws her arms laterally, telling the band with great passion that she, alone, will take it from here. It is going to be the word “Six,” and it is going to take a very long time.

Sssssiiiii... (the histrionics commence. She drops to one knee. She plumbs the bottom of her range, then her voice begins a slow ascent. Her eyes are shut, chin tucked against chest. She is bent forward, cleavage showing mightily)

...ii... (her voice is in mid-register, still climbing, now wrapped in a wide, swooping vibrato. She rises from her knee to an upright position).

...iii...(she approaches her upper register and begins a series of blues cliches. Her fingers wiggle on the microphone as if she is playing an instrument - first trumpet, then trombone, then saxophone. She has not taken a breath yet.)

...iiii... (as she nears the top of her range, her free hand begins to rise. She is preparing to land on a note that will startle all with its power and beauty. At the exact moment she hits it, her finger will...)

“F#@* this!” says the sax player. “Let’s take a break.” The musicians quickly scramble off-stage, order - as they know it - restored. The singer is still peaking, now in piercing soprano range, pointing dramatically off-stage, eyes closed. Sensing that change is afoot, she sneaks a glance. Quickly at first, eyes barely open. Then longer, eyes agog. The truth sets in, the sheer horror of it. An outright coup d’etat, and she’s been rendered powerless, impotent, ludicrous. She cuts off in mid-note, suddenly slumping. Quietly, resignedly, she concludes, “...ix.”

But it’s okay - no one except you was listening anyway. And you’d best not clap, if you want to be a part of...

The Break

The house musicians are seated at the crowded bar. Actually, two are sitting, and three are standing behind, jutting into the flow of traffic. They are flanked by drunk Yuppies on either side. Other drunk Yuppies periodically bump them from behind.

Despite their nominal victory, the battle with the vocalist has left them in poor spirits. They have felt the wrath of the jazz universe. Their capacity for suffering has been tested and found wanting. They wonder why. Life itself seems without reason. A solution cannot be found in words, only in drink.

You try to help. You explain that evil must exist in the jazz world so they might better appreciate the good. Blessings should be counted. For example, tonight there have been no violinists or accordian players. No harmonica player has sat in and called “Stormy Monday.” No beer has been spilled on the keyboard. And there is still much music to be played.

“Wait a minute,” says the saxophonist. “Aren’t you that asshole that was trying to run the session?” You see anger gathering in his face. He is moving toward you threateningly when a passing Yuppie taps him on the shoulder. “Excuse me. You’re the sax player, right?” The saxophonist’s face lightens. He has been recognized. He nods his head. “Do you play here often?” the Yuppie asks. The saxophonist shrugs with newfound humility. The Yuppie continues: “Good. Perfect. Can you tell me where the bathroom is?”

“AAAIIIIIIIEEEEEE!” screams the saxophonist, reeling from the sucker punch. Then he thrusts his middle finger Yuppieward, yelling, “It’s right HERE, s%!*head!” The Yuppie stares at the finger in stunned silence. Quickly, the trombonist leaps in, hands wringing. “Restrooms are over there, Sir,” he says, politely. “Hope you don’t mind the smell of vomit. And Sir, permit me one personal question: Is your loved one provided for in the event that something, God forbid, should happen to you?”

Other Yuppies see the dialogue, but miss the finger and the insurance pitch. They decide it is acceptable to talk to musicians, despite the obvious class differences. Several more approach the group. “Dudes, you know any Skynyrd?” asks a pony-tailed businessman. The guitarist looks away, lest his eyes betray him. “How about some Kenny G?” asks a well-dressed young woman. The pianist and drummer quickly grab the saxophonist, restraining him from further violence. There are also requests for “Pennsylvania Polka,” “something we can dance to” and “could you just leave the CD player on?”

Across the bar, you see the newcomer and the vocalist talking intently. You walk over to introduce yourself, but they don’t even notice. They are forming a band. They’re going to figure out the vocalist’s keys and record accompaniment parts on a sequencer. Fake drums, fake bass, fake orchestra, state-of-the-art digital deception. Then they’re going to look for gigs as duo. They’ll start in this very room, seeking out the clubowner, offering to play for half of what tonight’s band is making. They are no longer traumatized by their bandstand humiliation; they are vengeful. Justice must be served.

There’s no place for you in this conversation, so you head back to the house musicians. Coincidentally, the clubowner is talking with them. More precisely, he’s yelling at them. He has each arm over the shoulder of a rebuilt Yuppie bimbo, with a drink in one hand and a cigar in the other. He’s screaming about the fact that the last set was only 30 minutes long and had just two tunes in it. He’s reminding them that vocalists are good for business and look great on stage. He’s letting them know that they cannot, under any circumstances, scream hari-kari screams and thrust middle fingers Yuppieward. He’s delivering an ultimatum that if they screw up one more time he’s going to find a sequenced duo and save some money. Then he and the silicone Valley Girls disappear into his office. He needs to go over some figures.

Suddenly, this wretched gig becomes very important to the six musicians. They stare at their drinks dejectedly. They can already picture the glaring, aching white space on their calendars every Tuesday. They can hear the painful silence of phones no longer ringing; they’re not wanted, not needed. Rejection hurts; even rejection from Yuppie hell. And now, their world turned upside down, they at last see the good in one another: A saxophonist who so desperately loves the music; a pianist with a brilliant grasp of harmony; a drummer who throws himself headlong into the musical moment; a bassist who selflessly lays down the pulse; a trombonist striving to overcome the handicap of a useless instrument. Surely this magical unit can’t be so easily undone. There is an uncomfortable silence among them, the noises of the bar echoing about like a bad dream. You dare not speak. What could you possibly say?

A few minutes later, the clubowner emerges from his office. He is alone now, drink still in hand, cigar left behind. He has more demands: An earlier start time, a dress code, a maximum of two drinks per musician. The musicians continue to stare silently at their glasses; those seated slump closer to the bar. Meanwhile, the vocalist and the newcomer have spotted the clubowner. They circle around the bar to approach him from behind. They tap his shoulder to get his attention, then quietly talk to him just out of earshot. The musicians don’t need to hear it, anyway. They know exactly what’s going on.

Now the clubowner draws the singer and newcomer into the group. It’s time for a discussion. “Look,” he says to the band. “Can you give me one good reason I shouldn’t book this duo for next Tuesday?” The band is silent. “Okay, fine.” He turns to the duo triumphantly. “Give me a reason or two why I might want to try something different.” He is having fun now. He’s pitting the musicians against one another, Chapter One in the Clubowner Playbook. He’s tapping into the clubowners’ collective unconscious, the seamy underbelly of the jazz universe. He’s drawing strength from the awesome, evil karma of clubowners around the world and throughout time. Disdain for musicians seeps from his every pore.

But he has underestimated the sacred tie that binds all jazz artists, even those momentarily blinded by vengeance. The singer and newcomer purse their lips and refuse to speak. Now the clubowner is getting irritated. “C’mon, you two,” he says. “The same s%!* you said in my ear two minutes ago. What’s the difference?” Still they are silent, and the clubowner becomes angry. He turns suddenly to you. “You,” he says. “You decide. You, the impartial observer. You, all serious holding that crappy ‘Jazz Jam Session’ primer. You tell me who to book next week.”

You frantically thumb through the primer, only to realize that this section is still being written. It’s time to take the lead now, reach deep inside yourself and improvise. You look at the house musicians, still staring silently at their drinks. No question, they screwed up. They were blatantly rude to the newcomer and the singer. Just five minutes ago, the saxophonist almost slugged you. No audience will ever like them. But they really do love music; that much you know for sure. And they need the gig.

You turn to the singer and the newcomer. They came to the club wanting simply to make music. They gave it their best effort, and in return received only ridicule and scorn. But now they’re trying to undercut the band and steal its gig. They want to pollute the already acrid air with carcenogenic Musak.

You need guidance. What would Dr. Laura say? Or Rush? What would Jesus do? What would Journey do? Help, sadly, is not forthcoming; not from radio personalities, nor from spiritual models. (I.H.: Don’t look at me - you’re on your own now, pal.) You run it over and over in your mind, wheels spinning. You look from the clubowner to the six musicians to the duo. The clubowner is furious, returning your glance with a burning glare. All eight musicians are avoiding your eyes, staring at their drinks, or their shoes, or the sticky, stinking floor.

And then you realize that this is not musician versus musician. This is musician versus clubowner. Artist versus cynical businessman. Art versus commerce. And it goes deeper still, a playing-out of the grandest archetypal battle. Repressed employee versus miserly employer. Tiny Tim (sans ukelele) versus Scrooge. The proletariat versus the bourgeoisie. There is only one side you can take, Limbaugh be damned.

You look the clubowner in the eye. “You, sir, SUCK,” you say dramatically. You quickly make your way to the bandstand, grabbing the microphone that still bears traces of the singer’s designer lipstick. “I said, YOU SUCK!” you yell over the house system. A hush falls over the Yuppies. The bartender turns off the blender. Someone turns off the CD player. You point at the clubowner and repeat, more gently, “He sucks.”

The Yuppies snicker. There is applause, first a polite smattering, then a substantial ovation. This must be Performance Art, they decide. But we understand it, and it is Good. Confidently, you stride back to the musicians, slap a couple of twenties on the bar, and say, “Drinks for everyone. Except HIM.” You point an accusing finger at the clubowner. Then you head for the exit.

You feel good. You’ve learned a lot about jazz jam sessions tonight. You’ve also single-handedly defused an explosive situation, and done it with flair. As it turns out, you won’t soon be forgotten, either. Looking back over your shoulder, you see Yuppies flocking to the stage to be part of this new cutting-edge art form. A middle-aged businessman has the mike, and is pointing to one of his associates near the back of the room. “Eat s%!*,” he bellows artistically, to great laughter and applause. He passes the mike to a slender young woman, who points at a beefy young man near the bar. “Kiss my ASS,” she warbles. The room goes ballistic. The line behind the microphone grows, filled out by Yuppies in search of self-expression. Meanwhile, the house band has snuck back into the picture. It is both accompanying and commenting upon the surreal proceedings with freely improvised blips, bleeps, squeaks, and farts.

Your final image, as the door swings shut behind you, is of a critic seated near the stage. He is furiously taking notes, euphoric to be present at the birth of next “New Thing.” He will praise the “collective spontaneity” of the Yuppies, noting their “almost Ellingtonian integration of individual voices into a collective fabric.” He will draw parallels between your creation and avant-garde work of the 1960s, describing it as “Ornette Coleman meets Laurie Anderson in a revisionist framework for the new millenium.” He will note a “new dynamic redefining audience as performer and performer as audience.” He will praise the “direct and powerful text elements.” He will refer to you as a “drive-by genius,” and an “unassuming sculptor of human interactive paradigm.”

Your place in music history is assured.

(I.H.: Need a manager? Try the Musicians Union directory, under “Trombonists”...)